I've already aired my lack of support for Barack Obama, so don't take this as any sort of endorsement or defense of him.

Obama's presence in the Presidential race has allowed the worst aspects of racism to rise to the surface in our national discourse. Mitt Romney's presence has also helped stoke the fires of bigotry, but I'd say that Obama is getting at least twice the lumps that Romney is. The difference is that while Republican voters may be murmuring about Romney being a Mormon, they're not falsely accusing him of being one, and they're not clamoring to bomb yet another Mormon country.

Barack Obama, on the other hand, is being accused of being a Muslim. Not that there's anything wrong with being a Muslim, but the nature of the accusations is particularly disturbing. I've seen this posted hundreds of times:

q. Is Barack Obama a Muslim man?
a. Yes, His father was a Muslim. Muslim's sons are Muslims for life.

Cue the spittake. The sons of Muslims are Muslims themselves... for life?

It's not so much the attack on Obama that bothers me here, it's the implied assault of the very validity of Christianity that these (ostensibly "Christian") posters are making. They are saying, in essence, that Islam is so gripping, so compelling, that simply having 23 chromosomes in common with a man who was Muslim is enough to make any man Muslim for life, and Christianity simply can't compete with that. Obama's acceptance of the Christian faith is simply a sham due to his absentee father's Islamic sperm, because there's no possibly way that the awesome power of Jesus Christ could possibly overcome it.

Do these people realize that their argument effectively castrates their own religion?

-pb

It's that time again!

"Mithras is the Reason for the Season" Bumpersticker



Get 'em while they're hot! Perfect for friends, family, and to stick on cars with plentiful other religious stickers (not that I advocate vandalism!)

-pb

I think you can guess the tune to the little ditty I just wrote:

Church bells ring from the schoolhouse,
minds are quiet as a doormouse.
The books have been burned,
rebellion unlearned,
conformity in a Fundie Wonderland.

Gone away is their free will,
come and swallow your control pill.
It's Jesus all day,
attention you'll pay,
or it's prison in a Fundie Wonderland.

In an alley we're stopped by a policeman
and his puppet master Parson Brown.
He says "are ya married,"
we say "Yes, man!"
and then we beat a path out of that town.

Later on, there's a pyre
where fornicaters die in a fire.
They're burned at the stake
for daring to partake
earthly pleasures in a Fundie Wonderland.

In the halls of Congress Jerry Falwell
shreds the Constitution as he please.
They're rounding up the Pagans and the Muslims
and some Catholics just for a tease.

Move along, get back to work now,
your state and god are as one now.
Repressing your id,
you're having that kid,
it's burkas in a Fundie Wonderland!

-pb

You asked for it, now go buy it.

Mithras is the Reason Bumper Sticker



Only $3.99, and it's like a giant middle finger to Bill O'Lielly.

-pb

Tired of having god-dick shoved down your throat? SEND IN THE MARINES.

Toys for Tots rejects Jesus dolls

A Los Angeles company offered to donate 4,000 of the 1 foot-tall dolls, which quote Bible verses, for distribution to needy children this holiday season.

As a government entity, Marines "don't profess one religion over another," [TFT vice president Bill Grein] said Tuesday. "We can't take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family."

That's a dirty ploy, don't you think? Now they get to tar Toys For Tots as anti-Christmas, anti-Jesus, anti-child grinches.

"The idea was for them to be three-dimensional teaching tools for kids," [one2believe business director Michael La Roe] said. "I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible."

According to the company's Web site, the button-activated, bearded Jesus, dressed in hand-
sewn cloth outfits and sandals, recites Scripture such as "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again" and "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Teaching tool? Good one. Believe that, and I've got a bridge to sell you.

It's not a war on Christmas, people. It's a war on religion* (* conservative Christians may be exempt).

-pb

Religious Conservatives Gather to Discuss 'War Against Christians'

"The message of 'V for Vendetta' is that Christians are plotting to seize the reins of power."

No, the message of 'V for Vendetta' is that fascist, totalitarian governments can only control the people for so long until someone stands up and refuses to be put down. It only features your uber-corrupt version of Christianity as the antagonist because it's something familiar to the target audience. And why is that? Because you've been forcing this Christofacist ideology down our throats for years, and screaming about how we're attacking you when we choke on it.

"...a self-described progressive evangelical..."

Well hole-e-shit. What is that? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? (Sir, a self-described progressive evangelical, sir!) Not a self-described pagan, but a self-described progressive evangelical. Of course, this is to be expected. Anyone who falls outside the "mainstream" can only be "self-described", and therefore, not legitimate.

Because no one who is anything ever calls themselves that.

"I'm the President of the United States." ~ George W. Bush, 12/17/2005 - George W. Bush, self-described President of the United States. How come we never see that from the goddamned liberal media?

I digress.

This so-called "War on Christianity" is a fabrication. It's a smokescreen and a strawman. "We're under attack!" they scream. "Gather to our banner and help us! IF YOU'RE NOT WITH US, YOU'RE AGAINST US!" Sounds like the same tired old rhetoric. Newsflash: Christianity is not under attack. Simply because you perceive it to be does not make it so. Liberal Judges are not trying to erase you. In fact, the judges that have made decisions that you don't like (i.e., activist judges) tend to be overwhelmingly conservative. Hollywood is not out to get you. In fact, most of the battles in this so-called war are battles that you, the Religious Conservatives have started!

Gay marriage is not an assault on Christianity. Christians trying to ban it, that's an assault on homosexuals.
Evolution is not an assault on Christianity. Intelligent Design is an assault on science.
Abortion is not an assault on Christianity. Bombing abortion clinics in an assault on women.

It's not a "War on Christianity", it's a "War for Ideology". Right-wing Christians believe, despite being the priviledge majority, that they are the repressed minority. They want their ideology pushed on everyone else, and recoil in horror when everyone else objects. They started this war, and labeled it a war against them. Sounds like a kid getting his hand caught in the cookie jar and then complaining that there weren't enough cookies in it.

-pb

http://www.fuckchristmas.org/


"But these bastards are all 'But they call them Holiday trees!' Here’s a clue: no, they fucking don’t. Ok, maybe in a couple places, like on FOXNews.com and at the White House, but if Christmas is under attack, I’m Kris fucking Kringle."

It's long, there's more F-Bombs than an Andrew Dice Clay act, but it's right on and wildly hilarious.

-pb

So, I saw this picture at christian-underground.com. It says "I will pray where I want when I want / school work the street the mall / persecute me at your own peril"

Shit like this pisses me off. These people think that just because we won't organize things for them, that we're persecuting them. "No prayer in schools" means that we're not going to have a huge circle where everyone has to come and pray to their god. It doesn't mean that they can't, on their own, gather around a flag pole and pray. In fact, their right to do so and specifically pray for non-christian students by name has been upheld, even though those students have felt threatened by it.


If these people are so fake as to require people to hear them praying to make it valid, then they've got more problems than their employer telling them to knock it off. I pray all the time. I don't go praising the Goddess out loud in situations where it would be disruptive or inappropriate. These people can't seem to wrap their head around the fact that just because we don't want their religion jammed down our throat does not mean we want to criminalize it.

-pb

So, every year, Bill O'Reilly shoves a pine bough up his own rectum, and begins screaming like a mental patient about how companies are trying to ban Christmas through disgustingly inclusive "Happy Holidays!" signage. Because, you know, nothing says "Welcome to America, the land of religious freedom!" to a Jewish family like "MERRY CHRISTMAS! (he was born so you could kill him!)".

Nearly every religion has some sort of holiday that falls in December. You've got Yule (my holiday of choice), Hannukah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day and (gasp!) New Year's Eve, which along with any of the others, most people in the western world celebrate. After that, you've got the Day of the Magi, and just to extend the good will, Imbolc, Groundhog Day, and The Superbowl (which, like it or not, is a holiday with as much fanfare as Thanksgiving), which takes us in to February. So, chances are, you celebrate AT LEAST two holidays in the time starting right after Thanksgiving and ending February 13th (Valentines day is a whole new season). So is it so wrong to wish Christians "Happy Holidays"? I mean, would it be better if the signs said:

"Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Joyous Ramadan! Merry Kwanzaa! Blessed Yule! Happy Boxing Day! Happy New Year! Have a nice Day of the Magi! Blessed Imbolc! Happy Groundhog Day! Enjoy the Superbowl! HOPE WE DIDN'T FORGET ANYTHING!"

Isn't it just a lot easier to use the simple, thirteen-letter option?

But, that's not the point of my message.

Bill O'Reilly, ultra-neo-conservative America hater that he is, is on a crusade to make Christmas the only holiday in December. He's attacking other holidays, ironically, by saying that they're attacking Christmas simply by existing. Sorry, Bill! Didn't mean to have my 5,000+ year old celebration get in the way of your 2,000-year old "lipstick on a pig" holiday (because it's not hard to figure out that there's not a single Christian holiday that's not a re-write of an older Pagan holiday). Mea Culpa, Bill! Sorry for being here first.

Bill's network, FOX News, is equally culpable on this Assault on Culture, mainly for giving his hate speech an outlet. FOX would like everyone to believe that they are "Fair and Balanced®™", because they don't report with bias. They Report, You Decide. Or so the party line goes. However, a cursory look at their online store will tell anyone that they are so unabashedly slanted to the right, they may as well be laying on their side. Their Books section has nine books (Although it says there's only eight. THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!). Nine! Maybe they burned the rest? Out of the seven authors on that list (Ollie North wrote three of them), how many admitted right-wing fanatics are there? Six. The other? FOX News resident "moist hole", Alan Colmes, with his book Red, White & Liberal, which is guaranteeded to be 352 pages of bile directed more at Democrats than Republicans, and not espouse a single "liberal" viewpoint.

So much for "Fair and Balanced®™".

But then, every now and then, FOX shows some sort of humanity. Why, just the other day, December 1st, they had this jewel available on their online store:



Holiday ornament! From Bill O'Reilly! Can it be? Can FOX be part of the vile Assault on Christmas®™?! Horrors!

Unfortunately, once Daily Kos, Media Matters, Crooks and Liars, and my personal hero Keith Olbermann reported this little flaw, Bill's email box filled up right quick.

Guess what happened next?



That's right, FOX FLIP-FLOPPED. Now, it's a Christmas ornament! Now, it's in the "Christmas & Chanukah Collection", which in and of itself is disgusting. "FOX News: Christians and Jews only (because we need someone to conquer all of Israel for so Jesus will come back). Everyone else move the the back of the bus."

If there's any doubt that FOX News is nothing more than a propoganda network for ultra-conservative newthink, I think this pretty much takes care of that notion.

-pb

Evangelicals, in particular, seem to have a great reverence for Biblical law, in particular, the Ten Commandments. They act as though they are being oppressed, persecuted even, similar to the way Jews were in Germany in the 30s, when told that they cannot erect yet another monument bearing the Ten Commandments on some public property. However, they're being eaten by the same cancer that they accuse the rest of us of succumbing to. Evangelical leaders, with all their reverence for the Bible, are fulfilling their own prophecy. They are becoming, in essence, the Anti-Christ, by leading their flock far from the word of their God. If their book is to be believed, they are becoming their own damnation.

A look at the Ten Commandments verifies this. They violate all of them, some subtly, some less subtly.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me

They have created themselves a new vision of Christ and God, who they have replaced the old with. They have made themselves a god, not one that preached peace and love, but one who preaches antipathy for all who are not of him. They do not try to proselytize, they try to convert by force. Anyone who does not wish to listen is viewed to be against them. Christ would never have condoned their methods. They have made their own god, and simply use the name of the old one to give them a shell of credibility. They use this commandment in particular to attack their enemies.

2. Thou shalt not make to thyself any graven images

The Ten Commandment monuments themselves have become graven images. They are considered holy, sacrosanct, and to be defended at all costs. The monuments themselves have become far more valuable to them than the words written on them.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain

Every time they invoke the name of God or Christ in a manner that is not in line with the teachings in the Bible (which is often), they violate this commandment.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy

I guarantee that they mow their lawns, pay their bills and do their shopping, just like the rest of us. And what of those who have jobs that require toil on Sundays? They expect the world to conform to them, yet I cannot imagine them demanding that emergency rooms shut their doors on Sundays.

5. Honor thy father and thy mother

This commandment is so often overlooked, and not entirely practical. However, there are plenty of Evangelical-run nursing homes with forgotten parents languishing inside.

6. Thou shalt not kill

This is the greatest commandment that they violate. Granted, they may not kill on their own, but they kill by supporting those who kill. They support politicians who support the death penalty. They support politicians who support the wholesale destruction of the populations of other nations. They support politicians who support repealing a woman's right to choose her own health choices, something that could affect her health and well-being. Their hands are surely as bloody as those they support.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery

Again, they support ministers who are caught in the arms of their secretaries, claiming forgiveness for them. They support politicians who do the same. Status, apparently, is a way around this commandment, if you're an Evangelical.

8. Thou shalt not steal

They demand lower taxes and fewer social programs, effectively stealing from the poor. They refuse to support initiatives to feed the hungry or heal the sick. This is theft, grabbing the bread from the mouths of those who long to eat.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor

They lie to support their ends on a regular basis. Intelligent Design is a perfect example of this. They lie about the Scientific Method in order to make their theories seem valid. They lie to themselves on a regular basis, convincing themselves that they are just and righteous.

10. Thou shalt not covet

They covet the wealth of the world, from the smallest unit of currency to the mightiest reserves. They covet the resources of the Earth, which which others have set aside for preservation. They covet everything that could bring them more money. And they have set money up as another god.

And what of Jesus’ commandments? The two greatest commandments?

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength

As with the first commandment, they do not love their God. They have made a new god, one that speaks with their voice, says what they wish to hear, and calls them righteous when they are not.

2. Love your neighbor as yourself

They have no love for their neighbor. They may have a sense of community amongst themselves, but that charity ends when one is found lacking. They have no continuity with those who fall beneath their twisted standard, and they have no love for their world neighbors. Jesus made no distinction as to which neighbors to love. He simply said to love them. Evangelicals simply ignore this commandment.

Evangelicals are their own Anti-Christ. If their rapture comes to pass as it is written, they will be among those left behind, not the ones who are called to heaven. Their leaders are wolves, leading the entire flock astray. They left the shepherd long ago.

-pb

Another loss for the ACLU waiting to happen

"A public high school in Virginia is being sued for removing prayer-themed posters from a Christian teacher's classroom wall while he was out sick for several days last fall.

"A poster promoting the National Day of Prayer and depicting George Washington praying at Valley Forge, and a picture of President George W. Bush praying were among the items school officials confiscated from Spanish teacher William Lee's classroom at Tabb High School in Yorktown. Even a small cross in a display about a former student was cut out with scissors and thrown away by the school while Lee was out."

Ok, maybe there were better ways to handle this. That stuff shouldn't have been there, but this was the wrong way to go about it.

"Lee had also put up posters of the Peruvian Inca sun god festival and Mayan creature gods -- things often discussed in his Spanish class. However, those religious items were not removed."

AT WHAT POINT DID PEOPLE NOT REALIZE THIS WAS STUPID?! This is why Christians think they're being attacked.

-pb

Intolerance Of Religion Is A Tragedy

Evangelicals preach intolerance on a daily basis. They no longer preach the core values of thier religion, which are love, acceptance, and forgiveness. They preach hate, intolerance, and bigotry as a matter of course. American fundamentalists may not drive bomb-laden vans into convoys, but they are every bit as fanatical, and they're using their political clout to circumvent and even eradicate our Constitutional protections. So no, I don't have to like them. I don't have to respect them. They use the name of my religion as an epithet; they shouldn't get their hackles raised when I return the favor.

As for this quote: "[Separation of Church and State] wasn't meant to stop people from voting based on what they heard on Sunday."

No, it wasn't. In fact, I have no problem with a fire-and-brimstone Baptist minister getting up in front of his congregation and extolling the virtues of George Bush. I've got no problem with Bush himself holding a rally at a church. What I have a problem with is when that church remains tax exempt, because that means that the taxes that they *don't* pay get made up for by other citizens. Like me. And that means that taxpayer dollars have gone to promote a candidate, and that, my friends, is called propoganda, and it's illegal. So let preachers say whatever they want. Just make sure they're not tax exempt while they're doing it.

-pb

A note to people that screamed about “taking Christ out of Christmas” – The following did not happen.

-----
On December 25th, I watched as a crack squad of ACLU lawyers charged into my neighbor’s house. They secured the living room area quickly, taking the family by surprise. One lawyer grabbed the entire Nativity scene in both his arms and tossed them onto the front lawn. Two others grabbed the tree, while a fourth rounded up Bibles, crosses, and images of Jesus from around the house. All these were tossed onto the pile in the yard.

The whole assault took less than five minutes. The family was left stunned, sitting on the couch with a blow-up Santa Claus and their presents. The lawyers left a few pamphlets, but otherwise, the house was left in a relatively calm state. Outside, however, they doused the pile of Christian paraphernalia with kerosene, and the one who appeared to be the leader flicked a lit match onto the heap. It all went up quickly, leaving a smoldering pile of ash and melted plastic only ten minutes later. Of course, by that point, the ACLU strike squad was already onto the next house.

My wife and I watched with smug satisfaction as the American Civil Liberties Union went door-to-door smashing Jesus out of Christmas, rooting it out of every corner of America. We’re Pagans, after all. There’s no reason that any American should be practicing Christianity. It offends us to the core, after all.
-----


That’s right, folks. Millions of people still went to church on Christmas Eve. Millions went to Church on Christmas Day. No one was stopping them. Thousands of Americans had plastic Nativities on their front lawns. Live Nativities sprung up like weeds in churchyards. Everywhere around the nation, Christians openly celebrated the birth of their holiest religious figure. They gathered together and sang songs. They went about their days proclaiming “Merry Christmas” to all they saw.

Happy Holidays to everyone! You know why I say Happy Holidays to people? I’ve been saying it for years. I was saying it back when I was still a Christian. Why? Because I was wishing people a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year all in one shot. Now, I’m wishing people “Happy Any Number Of Holidays, Occurring Between December 1st And January 1st, That Every American Celebrates Unless You’re A Complete Atheist That Works In The Service Industry And You Don’t At Least Recognize The New Year.”

Because I don’t want to discriminate against holidays. If I say Merry Christmas, I’m completely ignoring Yule. If I say Happy Hanukah, I’m dissing Ramadan. If I wish someone a Pleasant Kwanzaa, I’m forgetting Saturnalia. And I certainly wouldn’t want to forget the granddaddy of all winter holidays: New Year’s. We’re talking some of the biggest celebrations around. Why would I want to leave that out? I’d rather just say Happy Holidays, and have you decide which holiday(s) you want to enjoy. I don’t have time to figure out which holiday the clerk at the local 7-11 is celebrating, so I just wish him a Happy Holidays.

I still wish my Christian friends a Merry Christmas. I also wish my Pagan friends a Merry Yule. I wish the occasional Jewish friend a Happy Hanukah, and I don’t know anyone that celebrates any of the other big ones. On New Year’s, I wish everyone a Happy New Year.

Oh, crap. I totally forgot January 12th, the Day of the Magi. And Boxing Day! You see, when I say Happy Holidays, I’m wishing you all of those and more. It’s easier for you to figure out which ones I mean than it is for me to figure out which ones you celebrate, now isn’t it? And no one gets offended.

Unless, of course, you’re the kind of person who’s offended when people don’t accommodate ever little detail of your religion.

-pb

"And when they come to ethnically cleanse me, will you speak out? Will you defend me?"

Pop Will Eat Itself - Ich Bin Ein Auslander

From conservativepetitions.com:

Using its no-solicitation policy as a lame excuse, [Target] has banned the Salvation Army's red kettles and cheery bell-ringers that raised more than $9 million outside Target last year. Did the corporation cave in to homosexual activists or atheists who want to take Christ out of Christmas? Other retailers, who respect values-minded Americans, have no problem honoring the beloved charity.

I love how "values-minded" is now used a clever euphemism for "fag-hating". Just come right out and say it, people.

"Using its no-solicitation policy to cover its own ass against this expected backlash, Target has banned the Salvation Army's red-kettles and guilt-mongers that raised more than $9 million for charity that is riddled with discriminatory policies. Did the corporation cave in to the militant liberal fag agenda or satanic atheists who want to take Christ out of Christmas and have sex with your children? Other retailers like Provident Bookstores who respect fag-hating Americans, have no problem honoring institutionalized discrimination and hatred."

See? There's no need for spin.

-pb

Christmas Campaign to Protect Religious Liberty Launched

Now, I'd really like to see this title read "Christmas Campaign to Protect Christian Dogma Launched", because that's what this campaign is all about.

"At the same time, Liberty Counsel wants public employees and officials to know that it will defend any governmental entity that allows the equal expression of religious viewpoints."

"[G]overnment organizations and civil liberties groups can expect Liberty Counsel to be their foe 'when they try to intentionally exclude Christ from Christmas, when they try to say that religious symbols or religious songs are not permissible.'"

I'm guessing that they're not going to falling all over themselves begging for equal time for Haunnukah, Kwanzaa, or Yule symols and songs.

So, let's review: SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE MEANS KEEP YOUR CHURCH OUT OF MY STATE. Government offices shouldn't be decorating for Christmas. They shouldn't be decorating for Yule. They shouldn't be decorating for ANY RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY WHATSOEVER. How hard a concept is this? If your church wants to have a live nativity, knock yourself out. If you want to have a live nativity at your local post office, EXPECT SOME ACLU ACTION. Don't get all bent out of shape when someone points out that seperation of church and state doesn't make an exception for *your* religion.

-pb