You should all know by now that I trust the so-called "mainstream" news media to report accurately about as much as I trust the Bush administration to do the right thing... on anything.

You should also know that I think Mitt Romney (and his Republican opponents) are all despicable people. All of them.

And, you should know that I think that people who can't write proper English, even though it's their native tongue (especially those who fancy themselves media outlets), should be flogged.

This post will address all of those issues.

So, Mitt Romney gave a speech yesterday that he'd like you to believe was akin to John F. Kennedy's "I AM NAWT BEHOLDEN TO THE POPE" speech. It wasn't. He wants everyone who didn't hear the speech to think that he gave some massive statement about how he's a Mormon, but everyone should be cool with that because he's not going to answer to Salt Lake City when it comes to Presidenting. He didn't.

Here's what he said about it:

If I am fortunate to become your president, I will serve no one religion, no one group, no one cause and no one interest. A president must serve only the common cause of the people of the United States.

There are some for whom these commitments are not enough. They would prefer it if I would simply distance myself from my religion, say that it's more a tradition than my personal conviction, or disavow one or another of its precepts. That I will not do. I believe in my Mormon faith and I endeavor to live by it. My faith is the faith of my fathers. I will be true to them and to my beliefs.

Some believe that such a confession of my faith will sink my candidacy. If they are right, so be it. But I think they underestimate the American people. Americans do not respect respecters -- excuse me -- believers of convenience.

Americans tire of those who would jettison their beliefs, even to gain the world. There is one fundamental question about which I often am asked. What do I believe about Jesus Christ? I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and the savior of mankind. My church's beliefs about Christ may not all be the same as those of other faiths. Each religion has its own unique doctrines and history. These are not bases for criticism but rather a test of our tolerance. Religious tolerance would be a shallow principle indeed if it were reserved only for faiths with which we agree.

There are some who would have a presidential candidate describe and explain his church's distinctive doctrines. To do so would enable the very religious test the founders prohibited in the Constitution. No candidate should become the spokesman for his faith. For if he becomes president he will need the prayers of the people of all faiths.

They are not unique to any one denomination. They belong to the great moral inheritance we hold in common. They're the firm ground on which Americans of different faiths meet and stand as a nation, united.

We believe that every single human being is a child of God.

I highlighted "Mormon," because that's the only part of the speech where the word appears. A speech about being Mormon. Now, taken out of the context of the rest of the speech, these are some pretty words. But...

Infinitely worse is the other extreme, the creed of conversion by conquest: violent jihad, murder as martyrdom, killing Christians, Jews, and Muslims with equal indifference. These radical Islamists do their preaching not by reason or example, but in the coercion of minds and the shedding of blood. We face no greater danger today than theocratic tyranny, and the boundless suffering these states and groups could inflict if given the chance.

Wait, I thought we were talking about how you're a Mormon? But, it gets better. Romney lands his space-ship in Wackyjobland and flashes the correct gang-signs:

The founders proscribed the establishment of a state religion, but they did not countenance the elimination of religion from the public square. We are a nation "under God" and in God, we do indeed trust.

We should acknowledge the Creator as did the Founders in ceremony and word. He should remain on our currency, in our pledge, in the teaching of our history, and during the holiday season, nativity scenes and menorahs should be welcome in our public places. Our greatness would not long endure without judges who respect the foundation of faith upon which our constitution rests. I will take care to separate the affairs of government from any religion, but I will not separate us from 'the God who gave us liberty.'

DANGER WILL FUCKING ROBINSON! DANGER! FUNDIE WHACKJOB IS GOING TO RAPE YOU!

If you don't understand my reaction, uh, I can't help you.

The Media, predictably, reports as Romney likes:

Ann Romney made two campaign stops in Las Vegas Thursday night, telling crowds that the address husband Mitt Romney gave earlier in the day on the role of religion in America and his Mormon faith was a “historic moment.”

First off, this speech wasn't really about his Mormon faith. It was about how he agrees with paying lip service to the Constitution and installing a theocracy. But the real tragedy of the article is this:

a “historic moment.”

BUY A FUCKING EDITOR.

-pb