So, John McCain has no idea who the people in the Middle East are. Shia, Sunni, Iran, Iraq, these distinctions meaningless to McCain, who, by the way, is touting his foreign policy experience as the reason you should vote for him. This is, of course, the equivalent of asking a devout Hindu to explain the taste difference between a Whopper and a Big Mac. And then bombing a country back into the Stone Age based on that advice. And then wondering why people are blowing themselves up and killing our troops.

So, here's how McCain sees the Middle East:



No need for international borders, we'll just crib a Beach Boys tune and start another failed war! And the best part for McCain is that he has Plausible Deniability! He won't remember who he gave the order to bomb!

-pb

Now that more people are dying in Iraq, looks like we won't have to invade Iran after all! Cheney was starting to get worried that he might not hit his target body count before 2009, meaning that he'd be dragged straight into Hell upon the new President being sworn in.

-pb

If you don't follow hockey, you'll have no idea what I'm talking about from here down.

So, the Washington Capitals Website should really be called the Alexander Ovechkin website. In fact, it really should be capitals.ovechkin.com, not capitals.nhl.com. The kid is a team unto himself.

Alex Ovechkin became the first player in 12 years to score 60 goals, but that's not as remarkable as the fact that those 60 goals account for over 27% of the Capitals total offense (220 goals). He's also got 46 assists for 106 points, which means that he's had a hand in nearly 50% of every goal that the Caps have scored. More than one of every four of the Caps' goals have come off of #8's stick, and this team is still in playoff contention. MVP? Any player who you can point to and say "give me four of him, and that's my team" is definitely MVP material.

I'm not Caps fan, but damn, this kid is the real deal. People think that Sidney Crosby is the next Gretzky. They're a little off target. Crosby is easily the next Lemieux. Ovechkin, now there's the next Gretzky.

-pb

Michael Medved, right-wing moonbat and all-around bad person (who denounced my heterosexual, yet childless marriage as "not as valuable") made excuses for slavery last September.

Here's his "Six inconvenient truths about the U.S. and slavery":

1. SLAVERY WAS AN ANCIENT AND UNIVERSAL INSTITUTION, NOT A DISTINCTIVELY AMERICAN INNOVATION.
   Slavery. It's OK, everyone was doing it!


2. SLAVERY EXISTED ONLY BRIEFLY, AND IN LIMITED LOCALES, IN THE HISTORY OF THE REPUBLIC – INVOLVING ONLY A TINY PERCENTAGE OF THE ANCESTORS OF TODAY’S AMERICANS.
   Only five people ever owned slaves, and only for like five minutes. The Civil War was fought largely over a case of particularly yummy Salt Water Taffy. The resultant poverty and oppression of Blacks in America is because they are, indeed, lazy and shiftless.


3. THOUGH BRUTAL, SLAVERY WASN’T GENOCIDAL: LIVE SLAVES WERE VALUABLE BUT DEAD CAPTIVES BROUGHT NO PROFIT.
   In fact, slaves who were killed were tickled to death by kittens.


4. IT’S NOT TRUE THAT THE U.S. BECAME A WEALTHY NATION THROUGH THE ABUSE OF SLAVE LABOR: THE MOST PROSPEROUS STATES IN THE COUNTRY WERE THOSE THAT FIRST FREED THEIR SLAVES.
   Northern states learned it years before, but those pesky backwards Southern states never quite realized that slaves couldn't be used as railroad tracks and lumber mills. Northerners, of course, never understood how to use a slave as a teapot.


5. WHILE AMERICA DESERVES NO UNIQUE BLAME FOR THE EXISTENCE OF SLAVERY, THE UNITED STATES MERITS SPECIAL CREDIT FOR ITS RAPID ABOLITION.
   Hey, we got rid of it right quick! Please disregard that there were slave-owners at the time of the Emancipation Proclamation who were British citizens by dint of their fathers being British Citizens prior to 1776, regardless of the fact that they were born in America. Other than that, yeah, we got rid of it first! Well, except for Iceland, Norway, Sweeden, Finland, Lithuania, Japan, Russia, Portugal, England, Denmark, Germany, Spain, The Netherlands, France, Uraguay, Argentina, Tunisia, Brazil, Peru, Venezuela, Moldavia and Wallachia, and Cuba.


6. THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE THAT TODAY’S AFRICAN-AMERICANS WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF THEIR ANCESTORS HAD REMAINED BEHIND IN AFRICA.
   There's also no reason to believe that today's Native Americans would be better off if European settlers hadn't given them blankets infected with smallpox. I guess we'll never know!

-pb